You’ve tried everything. Books. Podcasts. Advice from well-meaning friends. Late-night Google rabbit holes on “how to help my anxious teen.” And yet your teen is still disengaged, still not coping, and you’re feeling completely depleted.
If you’re a mum navigating the emotional rollercoaster of parenting a teen who’s anxious, withdrawn, or refusing school, and you’re wondering why you feel like the one falling apart, this post is for you. I was right where you are now and you’re not alone.
Parenting burnout is real and it’s far more common than we talk about.
But here’s the part most people miss (and I did too for a while) – to truly help your teen, the next step is probably not another strategy for them, it’s actually turning your focus inward – toward yourself, your body, and your nervous system.
What Is Parenting Burnout?
Parenting burnout happens when you’ve been giving and giving until you hit a wall – emotionally, physically, mentally.
You still show up every day, but inside, you feel hollow. On edge. Numb. Like you’re failing no matter how hard you try.
This is especially true for mums of teenagers who are struggling with their own mental health. You’re constantly worrying. Overthinking. Walking on eggshells. It’s exhausting – and it’s not sustainable!
So many mothers silently battle this invisible exhaustion. They don’t want to complain because they love their kids. But they feel stuck, lost, and deeply alone.
Parenting burnout doesn’t mean you’re not a good mum. It means you’ve been running on empty for far too long.
Parenting Burnout Symptoms You Might Be Missing
Parenting burnout doesn’t always show up as a dramatic breakdown. Often, it’s quieter but just as serious. Your body is sitting in continuous high stress which can make you sick.
Here are some signs you might be in it:
- You’re constantly irritable or snapping over little things
- You feel emotionally numb or disconnected
- You dread school mornings or after-school interactions
- You lie in bed replaying every conversation, second-guessing yourself
- You feel guilty for needing space, but you also feel like you might break without it
- You fantasise about running away, just for one peaceful day
These parenting burnout symptoms are your nervous system waving a red flag. Not because you’re broken but because you need tending to, too.
Why Looking Inward Matters More Than You Think
When your teen is spiralling – not sleeping, not talking, not going to school – it’s natural to pour all your energy into “fixing” them.
But here’s the thing no one tells you – your nervous system plays a huge role in how your teen feels, responds, and behaves.
When you’re dysregulated (even if you’re hiding it), your teen feels that, and they often mirror it.
When you’re calm and grounded, they feel that too. It helps their nervous system soften. It creates emotional safety.
This is called co-regulation, and it’s the foundation of connected parenting. It means that to help your teen feel safe, you have to feel safe in your body first.
Parenting Burnout Help: 3 Small Shifts to Start Today
You don’t need a start a whole new wellness routine. You don’t need to become someone new. You just need to start reconnecting with you. You need to carve out some time in your day to nurture you.
Here’s where to begin:
✅ Breathe to Signal Safety
Try this to calm your nervous system instantly:
- Inhale through the nose for 4 counts.
- Exhale through the mouth for 6 counts.
- Repeat 3 times.
You can download my free calming guide for more science-backed techniques to calm the body and mind.
✅ Create Micro-Pauses in Your Day
I like to call them “mindful moments”. Sit outside with your tea. Take two minutes alone in the car before pickup. Let silence be enough. These tiny moments tell your body: “We’re okay.”
Discover more mindful moment ideas here.
✅ Name What You’re Feeling
“I feel overwhelmed.”
“I feel invisible.”
“I feel like I’m failing.”
Naming emotions reduces their intensity and teaches your teen emotional awareness by example.
You may think that these tips don’t feel like traditional parenting burnout help, but they are powerful reset points, and your teen will begin to respond to the shift.
This is the magic of co-regulation and it works with teens not just young kids. Infact,I noticed a change overtime for all the family!
What Happens When You Start Showing Up Differently
The magic isn’t in being perfect, it’s in being present. When your nervous system is calm, your voice softens. Your reactions slow down.
Your teen might not notice right away, but over time…they lean in. Walls come down. Conversations last longer. Meltdowns happen less often.
You become a safe place, not because you’re fixing everything, but because you’re finally grounded in yourself.
It’s time to make parenting burnout a thing of the past
We all do our best as parents but if you feel stuck, overwhelmed and like nothing is working, then maybe it’s time to try something different.
Parenting burnout is real and if you let it go on you could get sick or your teen could spiral out of control even more.
I was the mum searching everywhere for answers feeling like surely someone or something could help my anxious and withdrawn teen. I then discovered that help was closer than I realised. It started with me.
I didn’t need to fix anything for my teen, I needed to show up differently and this started with nurturing me.
Want to learn more?
I have packaged up some resources to share with mums like you to teach you how to regulate the nervous system and respond calming to your teenager when your are navigating the challenging moments that we all face as our little ones grow into independent young adults.
The “Stay Calm in the Heat of the Moment Toolkit” is a digital resource which includes a video in which I share my “3 Step Reset Method”, a short audio meditation to use when you need to pause and calm your nervous system, a PDF guide on new ways to communicate with your teen no matter what the issue, a guide on ways to calm your mind and body, and journal prompts so you can focus on how you are showing up for you – not just your teen. You can learn more about the toolkit and access to now via THIS LINK.
Have questions? DM me in Instagram or Facebook or contact me here.
